You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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