She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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