Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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