it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Panties = found
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
