One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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