This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize