She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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