He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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