I look better un-naked...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
