Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
