i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
