we have officially lost it.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize