At least make sure they are 18
Why
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
