This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
