he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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