Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
