i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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