My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize