Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
