Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
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