is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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