I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
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It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
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Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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