We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
