Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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