I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
