I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So squirting runs in the family.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
