My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
