i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
