just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
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I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize