If i come over, it means nothing
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
