I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
