remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
