I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
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you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
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Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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