I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
