so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
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I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
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Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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