Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
