I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
