$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
