I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think a kid would responsible me up
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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