me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
