hotel room ftw
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
zippers are such a cool invention
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
