problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
