Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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