dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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