She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
