true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
