turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
