What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
