Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
