I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
