STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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