Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
His nipple licking is glorious
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