I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize