I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
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the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I love having hate sex.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
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My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Im part way to drunk.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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