your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You've changed since you got that strap on
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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