he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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