do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
