the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
