He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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