I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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