Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
we should paint friendship bongs
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
