shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
