doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
