butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
