You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
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Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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