Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
