We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
