Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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